The moment I saw our village, I prostrated in gratitude to God for saving us and bringing us back safely,
My husband and son entered a room for Syrian security at the crossing and stayed there for about two hours while I waited outside with my daughter, my eyes never stopped crying out of fear for them,
Before the war in Lebanon, we were uncomfortable, especially after the assaults on Syrian refugees and calls for their deportation,
The next day, we went to a mountain near Sidon and rented a house for $350 for one week. It had no water or electricity, but it was still better than staying on the street,
If we had stayed in Lebanon, we would have died. Here, also, we are at risk of death, but I prefer to die in my village,
Throughout that night, every now and then, members of the Fourth Division would come up to us, search us, threaten us and demand money to allow us to pass through,
I paid to escape the shelling in Lebanon to reach my village, which is also under bombardment by Assad’s army,
The nights were terrifying, especially since most of our movements were at night, with a truck taking us on rough roads without turning on the lights for fear of being detected by the regime’s forces,
When my husband contacted the smuggler, the agreement was that we would pay him money in exchange for avoiding any checkpoints of the regime’s army along the way,
Reaching the humanitarian crossing meant that we had overcome the danger that was looming over us,
At every checkpoint of Assad’s army that we encountered; we were asked to pay money to be allowed to pass,
Twelve years ago, we sought refuge in Lebanon to escape the war, but in my last days there, I witnessed a number of Syrian refugees being killed due to Israeli air strikes,
With the onset of the war, we had no choice but to return and face all the risks we might encounter,
The unfortunate thing is that Lebanese were allowed to enter Syria without any obstacles, while Syrians were extorted to be allowed to cross,
I would prefer to die in Lebanon rather than cross through the Syrian regime’s checkpoints,
Once we were allowed to enter the areas controlled by the Syrian opposition in the eastern Aleppo countryside, we immediately headed to our town of Ihsim in Idlib countryside,
Keeping my son’s children safe – my son was killed in 2012 by Assad’s forces – was all I could think about,
If there were borders between Lebanon and our area, I would have returned long ago, but the fear of the unknown fate awaiting me in the areas controlled by Assad’s regime is what kept me from going back,
The number of dead is high, and people are under the rubble, missing,
Now they know where that base is; what if next time they fire and are slightly off target?"