Quotes
This guy needs to hurry up and make the robot version of himself, because it can’t possibly have less charisma than the real thing,
said Meyers
Spending all that cash just to watch the whole thing burst into flames? Now he knows what it’s like to buy a Tesla,
Colbert jokedGreat, it’s like a home remodel! I feel much better about tariffs now that you compared it to something famous for costing people way more than they ever expected,
Kosta laughedAh yes, the 1930 Smoot-Hawley tariffs. Just one of the reasons we remember Herbert Hoover as our greatest president,
Colbert deadpanned
This is like a kitchen remodel or a bathroom remodel. There’s a bit of a mess at the beginning, but everybody has a long-term look at where we’re headed.”
As Senator James Lankford put it on CNNThe richest man in the world tried to buy the race for the losing candidate,
Colbert mocked.jpg)
What’s happening on Tuesday is a vote for which party controls the US House of Representatives … and whichever party controls the House to a significant degree controls the country, which then steers the course of western civilization.”
As Musk put it at a rally in his signature flat toneIf you’re not steeped in the wonky language of beltway insiders, that basically means they were spitballing ideas through the bathroom door at 3am,
Colbert explainedNormally you might not pay super close attention to the results of a state supreme court race in Wisconsin, but it became a huge deal because of how much time and money Musk poured into it,
Meyers explained
There’s a lot of bad news, but last night we got a much-needed booster shot of good news right in the arm while RFK wasn’t looking,
said Seth Meyers of the Wisconsin supreme court race
Liberation day” “sounds like the fake holiday your friends make up after you get dumped,
joked Michael Kosta on The Daily ShowFor a guy who’s been touting tariffs for months, seems like this all came together at the last minute,
the Late Show host continuedSo it turns out democracy still has a pulse,
he concludedThanks to Donald Trump, America is finally free from the tyranny of being able to buy stuff from other countries,
Colbert told the studio audience
Who’s ready to learn how to make their own iPad from scratch?”
Stephen Colbert said in response to President Trump’s new tariffs
My advice to every country right now is sit back,
said Scott Bessent, the treasury secretary, on Wednesday evening
From 1789 to 1913 we were a tariff-backed nation, and the United States was proportionately the wealthiest it has ever been,
said Trump, who has repeatedly elevated 1890s protectionist president William McKinley as one of his heroes who also slapped tariffs on imports
Then in 1929 it all came to a very abrupt end with the Great Depression. And it would have never happened if they had stayed with the tariff policy,
Trump said, conveniently ignoring the multiple factors -- including global economics, bank troubles, and the stock market crash -- that led to the Great DepressionFor decades, our country has been looted, pillaged, raped and plundered by nations near and far, both friend and foe alike,
Trump said, stressingForeign leaders have stolen our jobs, foreign cheaters have ransacked our factories, and foreign scavengers have torn aport our once-beautiful American Dream,
Trump warned